Are The Limeys On To Something? - [Matthew]

Got an e-mail this morning from a friend in the UK. This signature was at the end:

"Believers have creeds and promises.
Christians have bumper stickers and catch phrases.
Disciples have scars and stories."

Those phrases have been rolling around in my head since I read it. Not sure what to make of it yet, but I knew it was certainly provocative enough to make it into [Ping]. I'm checking with him to see where he came across it.

Discuss...

[end ping]

Mystery Babylon: The Best of Etcetera - [Etcetera]

This program originally streamed on August 18, 2004. We had just survived Hurricane Charlie, the electricity was back on, and it was time to come out and play.

I just listened to this show. Trust me here...this is podcasting crack. Once you get past the discussion about the hurricane, you will laugh your ass off until you are spinning uncontrollably in a sea of endorphins. Maybe it's just me. Click here to listen and find out.

Subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss it if we ever pull another one of these gems from our butts.

plastic baby jesus (Chp. 2) - [Matthew]

It had started with headaches. Migraines actually, but a healthy, soccer-playing fourteen year-old has no basis for these comparisons.

As it turned out, the migraines were indicative of nothing larger. No creeping, encroaching brain tumor, no pending aneurysms. But the blood test did show something else.

And the downturn followed quickly.

The first attack came around eleven thirty at night. Sal McManus nodded off during the news, his head bobbing up and down like a little toy drinking bird. He had finally descended into a solid R.E.M. cycle when he heard her voice creeping in from around the sides of his consciousness. Then suddenly bolt upright awake. Instincts he had inherited from her mother.

He flipped on her bedside lamp and instantly ascertained everything he needed to know. Her frequent looking up at the ceiling indicated the high intensity of the pain. The worried face when she looked at him indicated fear, which indicated something new. The trail of dried tears indicated she’d been suffering for some time before she called him. Or had she been calling him the whole time and he hadn’t heard her? Sal shook away this possibility.

What’s the matter, he asked. She told him.

Twenty-four minutes and two run red lights later they were in the ER.

[end ping]

Stop Killing Babies! - [Tim]

[tim's note - you might want to read the previous post first before you read this one]

Bob: Abortion is MURDER!!!! We must make abortion illegal! We must show these feminists that killing babies is not their choice! We have to!

Kim: So you want to make abortion illegal again?

Bob: Of course! We must - justice demands that we stop this horrible killing machine!

Kim: Well, I agree with you that abortion is a terrible thing. But how would you make it illegal again?

Bob: You have to vote for Pro-Life Republicans! Only they can put some God-fearing people back in the Supreme Court and overturn that dreadful Roe vs. Wade decision.

Kim: Um, ok, but how does making abortion illegal again actually accomplish anything? Do you think that will actually stop abortions from happening?

Bob: Of course!

Kim: But isn't smoking pot illegal too? Don't a lot of people still do it though?

Bob: Well, um, I wouldn't know. But we must stop abortion!!!

Kim: Hmm, so even though making abortion illegal wouldn't really stop abortions from happening, you still think that's a worthwhile goal to have? Wouldn't it make more sense to try to encourage individual people not to have abortions?

Bob: Well we do that too! Don't you see the throngs of people picketing the abortion clinics?

Kim: I was thinking more along the lines of some sort of counseling or intervention. Do you really think that intimidating people out of having an abortion is a good idea? Isn't that like trading one kind of evil for another?

Bob: Not at all! Anything that keeps that little baby alive is worth it!

Kim: I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to help, I'm just questioning how you're actually helping.

Bob: Well, were taking America back for God! We're taking a stand! That's what Jesus wants us to do!

Kim: Not that again.

How to Avoid Making a Difference - [Tim]

Bob: Let me tell you something. This culture that we live in is vile, full of all kinds of despicable wickedness! We must take a stand for the truth! Jesus wants us to take a stand for Him - against the sex and violence and laziness in this country!

Kim: So, I'm supposed to take a stand? What's that?

Bob: Well, you know - it's a stand! It's where you join with all of us Christians in our stand against sin!

Kim: Well, you're not really helping - how do I take a stand?

Bob: Well, you have to renounce all that is evil in your life! You must be pure and take this stand against evil with us! You must join our shouts against this vile culture ruled by Hollywood and MTV!

Kim: So this stand, it's like a bunch of Christians standing together?

Bob: Well, um, it could be. You want to get more people to make a stand with you? That's even better!

Kim: Hmmm. So what does it actually accomplish?

Bob: What do you mean what does it accomplish? How can you even ask that? It's a stand! For crying out loud, if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything! We have to let the world know how wrong they are!

Kim: Ah, so taking a stand is telling other people they are wrong?

Bob: Exactly!

Kim: Doesn't that make them angry or sad? I mean, having a bunch of people telling someone they are wrong - don't you think they make that person feel pretty bad?

Bob: They should feel bad! They are sooooo wicked and corrupt! We have to take a stand against them!

Kim: Uh, you're confusing me, the stand is now against people? I thought we were taking a stand against evil? Doesn't the Bible say something about our struggle not being against other people?

Bob: Who told you that? Of course it's against people - those evil movie makers promoting their queer agenda! Those politicians trying to let murder go unpunished! Those evolutionists devaluing humanity! We have to stand against them! We have to scream from the mountaintops that this world is wicked!

Kim: That doesn't even make any sense. How does making a stand actually do anything other than make you hoarse?

Bob: It's a stand! Jesus said that if you're ashamed of Him now, He'll be ashamed of you when you get to heaven - if you even get there!

Kim: So let me get this straight - you're saying that if I don't join with you and yell at people for what they're doing wrong that I'm ashamed of Jesus?

Bob: It's not yelling at people - it's taking a stand! I think you're trying to trouble me - you must be a messenger of the enemy!

Kim: What? Just because I'm trying to understand what this stand will actually do I'm a messenger of the enemy?

Bob: That's right! Why would Jesus be making you so confused? You must have some sin in your life!!!

Kim: Whatever, doesn't the Bible say something about all of us being sinners - you included? And I just can't understand how this stand actually helps anybody...seems to me to be a mighty fine way of avoiding actually doing anything substantial!

Bob: Get behind me satan! You must not even be a Christian! And with that attitude, I don't think you'll ever become one either! Now go away so I can find some real Christians to stand with me!!!!

Kim: Sigh. No wonder people hate us.

Best of Etcetera - [Erik]

I know talking about the "best of Etcetera" is kinda like military intelligence, virtual reality, or a working vacation, but I've never been one to shy away from an oxymoron (or any other kind of moron for that matter). But I digress.

While spending some time in my meditation chamber yesterday (soaking in the tub), the thought hit me, “Holy shit, I’m going to be on an airplane headed for Ft. Wayne during the noon hour on Wednesday. Soooo…there won’t be a live show this week.

I thought I would use this opportunity to take some suggestions for shows you’d like to hear again. And if you’d rather listen to dead air we can make that happen too.

What say you?

The Fig Tree - [Mica - a.k.a New Jersey Gordon's Wife]

Surely I'm not quite there
Forward two and three taken back
They say I've got to try harder
And beware of dozing in the sack

But the eyes only see what's up the nose
Sometimes not even-it's up too close
Only half the story is shown
The rest is seldom known

But You behold and nothing's hidden
You foretold-your body laiden
Up the tree is where I see
How You loved them...him...and me...
It's where my knees keep crawling back
and I find me free

If I never get it right
If I miss a thing or two
And never see the fig tree blossom
Will that revoke the right hand's ransom?

But the Truth speaks eternal
'Bout a Love so unconditional
'Til the age completes the story
And the Light shines all its glory

You spoke the Word incarnate
You exposed on the tablets...
On the Lamb slain and raised
Is where I ought to fix my gaze
It's where I loose control
and my shoulders drop
For You to catch
You did it all.

Haiku Review: Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis - [Chad]

Old is new again
raw spirituality
I recommend it.

Moving On - [Etcetera]

Here's this week's show. It won't give you gold fillings or anything, but subscribe to the podcast anyway.

Wow... - [Sharon]

Just so everyone knows, I had no idea that my post would be received from such an incorrect viewpoint. I simply thought it was funny, the way when we get new things that we love, (like a new computer when we haven't had one that works for months, or for some people, a new car), how we just want to savor every moment of the setting it up, or the first drive off the lot. It made me laugh to myself as I was setting up my new computer how happy I was, and it just seemed funny to write that post comparing it to a wedding night. I am SO incredibly saddened by the fact that I am now referred to as a lady only in quotation marks, as though I am not. I actually resent that. If any of the anonymous people actually knew me personally, you would know that I AM a lady. Who knew character judgments could be made because of some plays on words? I guess I am now painfully aware that they can. I'll be sure to watch my words more carefully. I am sorry to have offended people, and am also sorry that anyone feels that I was "asking for" anything. Especially because the phrase "she was asking for it" seems to be thrown around toward women in a lot of different situations. I just thought the post was funny. My mistake.

plastic baby jesus (Chp. 1) - [Matthew]

This is the first chapter of a novella I wrote. Relaaax... my ego does know some limits. I'm not going to post the whole thing here and choke up the works. Here's the deal. I am going to debut the first three chapters of this thing here. Anybody who wants to read the rest, just drop me a line (mattheweporter@hotmail.com) and I'll send the balance. Fair enough? Now, on with the show...

[Chapter 1]

Even when the voices got loud, Caitlin still slept. They took turns talking, standing there hand in hand in hand.

Above and behind them, David Letterman was silently talking to a large smiling woman in the audience. She laughed now and turned to her husband sitting beside her.

Nearby sat a vase with artificial flowers, purple and yellow mums. Some were designed to be in full flower, others just buds on the verge of blossom. They would look exactly the same ten years from now as they did tonight.

A silver haired woman spoke now. Fervently, face turned up, her hand gripping her neighbor’s till the ends of his fingers turned red. She said something that elicited a laugh from the group. Eyes still closed, they laughed and nodded to themselves.

They stood in a semicircle around the bed. The contractor, the school librarian, the web designer, the video store clerk, the high school basketball coach, the widow, the woman who ran the gourmet basket shop.

And beyond these stood the construction worker, the aspiring singer songwriter, the dentist’s office receptionist with her two girls, the Starbucks clerk, the traveling computer repairman, the claims adjuster, the manager of the embroidery shop.

They stood there silently, filling the room and out into the hall.

And then there he was, the closest of all, kneeling down next to her with the only open eyes in the room. Her head was turned slightly to her right, an array of blonde spilling over the pillow. All she had to do is open her eyes to see him.

A final word was said and the tableau of compassion gradually melted away, each one taking a moment to touch the man’s shoulder or arm in a tone of unspoken understanding.

After they left, he slowly stood to his feet, did a few deep knee bends, then washed his face in the sink and walked to the window. Looking through his own reflection, he gazed down at the city’s grid of white lights, green and red lights now adorning the main streets.

He stood there for what could have been five minutes or an hour before a knock on the door broke his reverie. A bright faced college intern with a small band of carolers.

Without turning around, he waved them off, the back of his right hand pressed hard to his trembling chin.

The air leaking in from the window made his wet eyes feel cold and glassy.

[end ping]

Some New Shit (Part 2) – [Erik]

While rocking back and forth in my living room, crying through Keith Green lyrics and Gandalf quotes, and holding on to my kids for dear life…I was given a vision of eternity. It was a vision of communion and oneness with God. It was so unlike what I had experienced so far; I thought it was for after I die.

After that, hope for the future and love for my family kept me here, but the haunting thoughts of death lingered, managed with alcohol and distraction.

I didn’t realize that I was already dead.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me…”

-Gal.2:20

You can imagine my relief, after a life-long obsession with killing myself, to have my mind opened to see the truth. I died with Him that day we were murdered. I was just too busy to notice.

Being dead has a lot of upside. Dead men don’t have to be consumed with thoughts of suicide. Dead men don’t have to try harder (Heb.4:9-10). Dead men are free from rules (Rom.7:1-4). And best of all, dead men can be resurrected (Rom.8:11), dead men get to see beyond the veil.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me…”

I had hope that day in the living room, and hope does not disappoint. I hoped that one day the veil would be lifted and we would be one…Husband and wife. Then I realized that I had died a long time ago. The veil was torn and I could see through to eternal life.

His life was laid down, given back, and then given away. His eternal life was given to dead men. I was given life, but it’s not mine, it’s His and He’s living through me right now.

He says, “The Kingdom is at hand.” He says, “I am the life.” He says, “I have come that you may have life.” And He says, “I Am.”

He is life and His life is eternal…now. Eternity is now. He is. This is eternal life, that you know (be joined with) Him.

Now I see.

I am the Virgin Mary. I have been impregnated with eternal life. I am of His bride; one with Him, coupled, the two as one flesh, an answer to His prayer, “…You in me, I in them.” I am His child, His offspring…His DNA…His life is in me and I cry out Daddy. I am a member of His very body. He is the vine and I am a branch. These are all word pictures the scriptures use to describe the quality of life that is given to us here and now. This is not for later.

Believe this…

“The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

-The rest of Gal.2:20

I don't think people have been giving God enough credit. What He has pulled off here is amazing. He’s not some divine Santa making a list and checking it twice, using the afterlife like some carrot to keep us running on the hamster wheel. And as wonderful as the grace of God is, His eternal forgiveness and unconditional love and acceptance is only a part of the plan. He hasn't just wiped the slate clean, there’s more to the story.

He’s replicating Himself by pouring His life into His dead creation and living it through us.

“For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through His life!”

- Rom.5:10

There is no barrier keeping anyone from God. Even those that hate Him have been reconciled. God has made peace with His enemies (all of them…past and present), while they were still enemies. This was done through His death. It doesn’t say that only believers are reconciled; it says that His enemies are reconciled.

Reconciliation is accomplished for everyone. It's past tense. There is nothing between you and God.

This reconciliation is the majority of what we hear from religious leaders, but this message is for His enemies. This is about death…theirs and His. Like Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished." But the part that isn't finished is His life.

What about life?

Having been reconciled, we are saved by His life! This is the message for His children, for His bride. If you’re His, you are saved by His life. Not saved to go to heaven, but saved by living eternal life now in union with Him.

We want life and the pagan christians say try harder. We want life and the grace teachers say you're forgiven. We want life and He gives us His spirit to live through us.

We have ceased to exist alone.

He gives us His eternal life now. Eternity is now. The veil has been torn. We and the Father are One. This is what saves us.

This is practical, but it is also supernatural and must be experienced. I wish I could talk more about how this works, but this has to be lived by faith and inaction, abiding in Him. The quality of this life is like that of which Jesus spoke, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

You do not have to try to live this way; this will happen the way a tree bears fruit. Remember, you have been laid to rest and you are free to live His life. You can’t make any mistakes.

^“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.”

-Rom.8:28-29

Now go live. Go live eternal life now.

To those who have ears to hear, let them hear.

[ping]

You Don't Have To Be Alone - [Etcetera]

Here's this week's show. Don't stop believin'...subscribe to the podcast here.

My Punk Anthem - [Matthew]

I want to drink, drink, drink
I want to smoke, smoke, smoke
I want to cuss, cuss, cuss
I want to fight, fight, fight

I want to burn, burn, burn
This city down, down, down
I want to cry, cry, cry
Until I drown, drown, drown

I want to feel, feel, feel
Some kind of pain, pain, pain
To have the fire, fire, fire
Run through my veins, veins, veins

I want to kiss, kiss, kiss
You on the mouth, mouth, mouth
A love so strong, strong, strong
The lights blow out, out, out

I want to shoot, shoot, shoot
Into the sky, sky, sky
I want to live, live, live
Until I die, die, die

I want to know, know, know
Just where I stand, stand, stand
Is it a curse, curse, curse
To be a man

[end ping]

Some New Shit (Part 1) – [Erik]

In my last entry I talked about the comfort that comes from knowing (God imparted knowing) that one day the veil will be lifted. Quite a bit has happened since I wrote that in June of 2004.

I have been in love with the end for as long as I can remember. I believe that every one of my addictions are about death…measured, slow, and consistent self-destruction. Along with that, I've habitually asked God to kill me. I don’t think my head has rested on a pillow (evening or morning) without thoughts of death running through it…unless of course I was drunk or high. Then the thoughts are postponed until I wake up, but then they’re just intensified.

Pop-christianity hasn’t helped at all. In fact it’s made it worse. Every “gospel presentation” I’ve ever heard contains some version of the question, “Do you know where you’ll spend eternity when you die?” Nobody ever tells you about how to live. So we know where we’re going, but we also know life sucks…we watch the news, our parents die when we’re five, and we are well acquainted with loneliness. We ask about pain and we’re told that crap about, “The retirement plan being out of this world.” We’re told that one day He’ll wipe away the tears from our eyes. We’re told that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us and that streets of gold and pearly gates are part of some future parting gift.

All of this talk about the afterlife has just made me want to get it over with and on to the good stuff. I’m not alone here. I see all these people that become Christians asking, “What now?”

There are of course many who step in to attempt an answer (usually with some agenda – even if they are sincere). “Go to church.” “Read my book.” “Stop jerking off.” “Start praying.” “Read the Bible.” “Give me some money…I mean…sow a seed into the Kingdom.” “Stop drinking.” “Stop smoking.” “Start being a good husband/wife.” “Attend my conference.” “Have family devotions.” “Have personal devotions.” “Get involved with our program.” “Start a Bible study.” “Start serving.” “Stop asking so many questions.”

It goes on and on. I think of this as pagan christianity. The message is basically, “Try harder.” If you do such and such, God will bless you with a good life…but more importantly, He’ll gladly let you into heaven when you die trying.

Then there are the grace teachers. When asked how to live, they tell you that God loves and accepts you without any hesitation or condition…even if you stop trying. This is comforting after having bought all that bullshit from the pagan christians, but it still doesn’t answer the question, “How do I live?” The message is basically, “Let go.” You’re left with a sovereign God (code for it doesn’t matter what you do) that will let you into heaven, and all you have to do is believe it’s true based on Jesus’ death on the cross.

There’s death again. Ask any Christian why Jesus came and they’ll tell you that He came to die for our sins…still no mention of life.

So, after having run the course with the pagan christians, and getting stuck in the cul-de-sac of near meaninglessness with the grace teachers, I was left posting through sobs all that stuff about God lifting the veil. Given my preoccupation with death and my cultural milieu, I thought He meant that I would get the goods when it’s all over and that I should just hang on. I was wrong.

To be continued.

Some Old Shit - [Erik]

"The journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it...white shores...and beyond a far green country under a swift sunrise."

-Gandalf


Last Saturday's program provided one of the most stressful situations I've ever been blessed to endure. Steve was on the road and feeding us a signal from the mountains of northern California. The audio quality wasn't what I had hoped for. More than that, I spent the two hours under the cloud of fear that we would lose that precious crappy connection to the host of the show. What's more than that, I had no ability to give visual cues to Steve as I ran a pre-recorded interview. Add that to the normal pressure of being a perfectionist, hitting all of the network's hard breaks, talking on the air, and running the production and comedy bits, and you're on your way to ulcer city.

I tell you all of this to give you a sense of the amount of adrenaline that was coursing through me as I headed home at 12:30 in the morning. I couldn't calm down.

I paced the house when I got home. I woke up my wife to tell her I was freaking out. She mumbled and I went back to pacing. I finished off a bottle of wine. I paced some more. I read the message boards to see if anyone commented on the show. After a fruitless search, I went to check on the girls. I wished they were awake to tell me that they love me or to ask me to sleep in their room.

I went back to my room and tried to go to sleep as I bottomed out after my fierce adrenaline high. I began to get severely depressed.

I laid there and asked God what the hell I was doing. Why am I subjecting myself to this? Why put myself in a situation where I have to face my worst fears every Saturday night?

I felt naked and exposed, like the giant "ass judge" gave the order to once again tear down the wall.

I asked God to calm me, but no peace came. I asked Him if He was pleased with my work...no assurance. I asked Him if He loves me no matter what. I listened, but heard nothing but the frogs singing a song to the wet sidewalks.

I told Him that if I could hear Him say it once, it would be enough. I would be able to hold on to the memory of those words and get through anything.

I waited and begged and waited some more, but He didn't speak.

So I asked Him to kill me. I chanted the request like a mantra until I fell asleep.

I woke up like I usually do, with the kids crawling into our bed around 6:30 in the morning. I looked over at Paisley and I started to cry. The crack gave way to a flood of tears that began to wash away what was left of my wall. I seriously could not stop.

I blubbered as I tried to explain to Paise what I've told you, but there was no reason to it. I was coming unglued.

I needed to hear from God, and He still hadn't spoke. Paisley told me that she would take the girls with her up to our community center if I wanted some time alone to continue my freak out. I told her that I didn't think He was going to show and that she could leave the girls and go do her workout.

As she got ready I went out to the trunk of my car to get my Keith Green CDs. Whenever I get desperate enough, I'll plug these CDs into the player and hope that God touches me the way He did when I first heard them in the miserable early days of my Christianity. It doesn't always work, and the longer I'm a Christian the less I like Keith Green, but like I said...I was desperate.

Paisley left me with the girls. I flipped through the cuts that usually help me to feel like God is near without much success. Then I came to "When I Hear the Praises Start."

My son, My son, why are you striving
You can't add one thing to what's been done for you
I did it all while I was dying
Rest in your faith, my peace will come to you

For when I hear the praises start
I want to rain upon you
Blessings that will fill your heart
I see no stain upon you
Because you are my child and you know me
To Me you're only holy
Nothing that you've done remains
Only what you do for Me

I picked up my girls and started to dance with them. Usually we spin and giggle to Bob Marley or Peter Gabriel, but this time I just held them close as the tears poured out of my swollen eyes and I sang between snotty staccato gasps for air.

My child, My child, why are you weeping
You will not have to wait forever
That day and that hour is in My keeping
The day I'll bring you into Heaven

For when I hear the praises start
My child, I want to rain upon you
Blessing that will fill your heart
I see no stain upon you
Because you are My child and you know me
To me you're only holy
Nothing that you've done remains
Only what you do in Me

I thought about my children and I thought about me and God. My heart broke with love as He finally spoke.

"I could use cheap words if I had too. But lungs, lips, tongues and teeth are crude...I am Spirit. Your ways are not My ways. I desire communion, not just communication. I desire that we become One."

My precious bride, the day is nearing
When I'll take you in My arms and hold you
I know there are so many things that you've been hearing
But you just hold on to what I have told you

For when I hear the praises start
My bride, I want to rain upon you
Blessings that will fill your heart
I see no stain upon you
Because you are My child, and you know Me
To me you're only holy
Nothing that you've done will remain
Only what you do for me

An image was burned into my mind, the image of the Groom seen through our veil. Then scriptures flooded my mind as the tears continued to flood my eyes.

1 Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a glass, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

1 John 3:2 Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.

I long to see Him clearly, but the veil of this life allows us only shape and shadowed color. It's hard sometimes and I just want to rest. I want Him to sit and talk with me face to face the way He did with Moses. But that is for another time, a time when the grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass.

What's more, He called Moses friend, but He calls us His wife...beloved. On that day we won't merely see Him...the veil will be lifted and we will be seen...a radiant bride, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.

We will be one with Him and I don't believe words will be necessary.

Now I am just tired, but I have hope.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Profound Scriptural Insights - [Tim]

Speaking of Bono, I've been reading this book, Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas. It's basically a really long interview with Bono and it has tons of great insights and quotes. Here he's talking with Michka about Jesus and Christianity...Michka had said something about how he feels religious sometimes without knowing it, to which Bono replies,

"...You're like one of the Three Wise Men, the Magi who were studying the stars, with nothing religious on your mind! And you're looking at your maps, going: [gets into a comedy routine] 'Here it is...OK, it should be over here...There's something funny going on over there...Is it the aurora borealis? No, it's a single star. My coordinates suggest: we must go this way. OK, something should be happening extraordinary round about...[pauses for dramatic effect] there. Oh shit, what's this? A little baby! Oh, we stepped into the Christmas story, I thought I was reading astronomy.'"

Sounds like how a lot of us found God and Grace - God surprises us when we least expect it. Oh shit, He found me! And He's different then I expected. How freaking cool!

[ping]

U2 - [Matthew]

[exclusive content]

Last year, I was asked to write an article on U2 and their soon-to-be released album How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. I poured a lot of heart into the article (have you ever actually cried as you wrote a band/album review?). Sadly, what showed up in the magazine bore little resemblance. Before you haul out your 'poor wittle writer' lines, keep in mind there's legitimate, well-executed editing done for space limits. And then there's there's the amateur, ham-handed, forgot-to-do-my-science-fair-project-now-I-gotta-stay-up-late butchery inflicted on my article.

Criminy. I think I may still may have a chip on my shoulder about this thing.

Without further ado, the 'director's cut' of the article you didn't see in the magazine.


U2: A Disarming Look

To fully understand U2’s music, you must first understand a little about its frontman, Bono; to fully understand U2’s latest album, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, you must first understand a little about a man named Bob Hewson.

Bono embodies a host of seeming contradictions which, as if a rock star needed any more help, make him all the more fascinating: A self-professed Christian who swaggers and sways and seduces crowds of tens of thousands. A man who at times appears to be hopelessly in love with himself, yet devotes much of his energy to solving social crises across the globe.

In contrast, Bob Hewson held no significant sway over anyone other than those in his own house. And yet, this lowly postal worker managed to be something of a thorn in Bono’s side for many years and, for better or worse, shaped the singer’s life more than any other person.


History

U2 formed in 1976 after drummer Larry Mullen Jr. posted an ad on a bulletin board at his Dublin high school. Of the half dozen or so guys who auditioned, three stood out: guitarist Dave Evans (eventually to be renamed ‘The Edge’), bassist Adam Clayton, and a “charismatic character” of questionable singing skills who would come to be known as ‘Bono’. The nickname was originally “Bono Vox”, the name of a brand of hearing aids. Bono resented the moniker until he learned the phrase was Latin for ‘good voice.’

After recording a successful three-song EP (titled U2:3) and a less than successful tour of the U.K, U2 signed with Island Records in 1980. In December of that year, the band launched a small, but successful East Coast tour for their first full album release, Boy.

Their second album, October, was the first to bring into focus the band’s deep Christian convictions and the beginning of a career-long process of figuring out how those beliefs could be squared with being rock stars.

U2 followed up October with War, a live mini-album titled Under a Blood Red Sky, and The Unforgettable Fire. After steadily building their following throughout the eighties, The Joshua Tree album served as the mainstream breakthrough U2 had been working for. Singles “With Or Without You” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” became number one pop singles.

Double album Rattle and Hum followed thereafter, and then a turning point in 1991 with the release of Achtung Baby. Recorded in Berlin, the album and the subsequent Zoo TV tour found U2 reinventing themselves as an edgier ‘alternative’ group. Bono took on the personas of ‘The Fly’ and ‘MacPhisto’ while one version of the “One” video featured the U2 gents in full drag. 1997’s Pop and the Pop-Mart tour pushed U2 even further into new territory, incorporating elements of techno into their music.

Their next full-length album wouldn’t arrive until 2000’s All That You Can’t Leave Behind. Remarkably, after nearly thirty years of critical and commercial success, after a stylistic shift on par with ‘Sgt. Pepper’, U2 survives and thrives with its original lineup.

And now, eleven albums, fourteen Grammy awards, and two record-breaking tours later, their first studio album in four years.


How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb

Overall, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb has a somber tone, standing in contrast to the buoyant Everything You Can’t Leave Behind. Though it’s not immediately as catchy and radio-friendly as its predecessor, ‘Bomb’ drops safely within the top five U2 albums of all time.

“Vertigo”- the soundtrack to your favorite iPod commercial- leads off the album with The Edge’s blistering and nasty guitar riff.

Other highlights include "City of Blinding Lights", the fifth cut and the first transcendent ‘goosebump’ moment. "Original of the Species" holds some truly memorable hooks, though sadly its placement so deep in the album makes it doubtful it will be pushed for radio airplay.

As All That You Can’t Leave Behind ended with “Grace”, so the song “Yahweh” (the Hebrew name for God) rounds out the CD with the album’s most overtly spiritual lyrics. It is less a song and much more a prayer.

But there is one song that stands out above the others. The track that undeniably serves as the emotional linchpin of the whole apparatus.


A Sort of Homecoming

At 4am on August 21, 2001, after a lengthy battle, Bob Hewson succumbed to cancer. At his bedside, his two sons, Norman and Paul, better known as Bono.

For a week, the 75-year old Dubliner had lain on his deathbed as U2 toured Europe supporting their All That You Can’t Leave Behind album. But each night, after the show ended, Bono would fly back to be with Bob, usually sleeping nearby, even though the father and son had endured a strained relationship for years.

When he was only 14, Bono’s mother had died suddenly of a brain hemorrhage. Living in a tough Irish household of only men, in a place where emotions were bottled and stored for years like so much whiskey, Bono found a great and needed outlet in music.

Bono recalled a defining incident when his father passed on an opportunity to inherit a piano:

“My father was a beautiful tenor who loved opera, but he never imagined that music might be handed down, like his bad back and his bad temper, so he never bothered us about learning an instrument."

While they reconciled before Bob’s death, Bono allowed that he wished it had happened years earlier.

Unbelievably, just hours after his father’s passing, Bono flew to London and performed in front of 17,000 fans at Earl's Court. As he walked onstage wearing black, the red-eyed singer knelt and made the sign of the cross.

"I want to thank my old man, my father, for giving me this voice," Bono told the crowd. "He was a fine tenor and he always said if I had his voice, who knows what might have happened."

Yet another enigma: consummate ‘the-show-must-go-on professional or numb and still-angry son? Bono gave the answer himself sometime later when he commented on that night.

"If you were of sound mind, you wouldn't need thousands of people a night telling you they loved you just to feel normal. It's sad, really.”

Bob is the titular ‘bomb’ to be dismantled. And the song “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own” provides ample evidence that their Cold War melted away before it was too late.

“I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing,
You're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me.

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone.

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own.”


The Show Goes On

In March 2005, Bono will take a break from saving the world to tour with the band.

Will U2 prove to be Generation X’s Beatles? An enduring, culture-defining group that maintains its popularity and relevance even while evolving? The theorem has certainly held thus far.

Each band member is now older than 40. Their creative process, though arduous and protracted, consistently pays off in albums of considerable depth and quality. There is reason to believe that the next U2 project will hold even deeper resonance as the lads rock and roll their way into middle age.

As writer and professor Rev. Chuck DeGroat queried ‘Have U2 finally found what they’re looking for?’ Who knows? Thankfully, with ‘Bomb’, they’ve at least taken us with them on that journey.

[end ping]

I'm Sick - [Erik]

It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m terrified. I can’t sleep. My heart is beating noticeably faster than normal…panic.

Don’t worry, the wife and kids are fine. It wasn’t a burglar or falling blue ice from an airplane’s toilet crashing through my roof that has me so worked up. It’s jeff and beneathrover…I don’t think they like me.

I am so pathetic. This is probably going to ruin my whole day. When the family wakes up I’m probably gonna be all crotchety. This sucks. I need the [ping].

Let me back up a bit. So yesterday we had Steve and Josh from stupidchurchpeople.com on the show. I love what they do on their blog/podcast and was all bubbly inside about the hook up. The interview thing went great and we linked to each other’s blogs. Steve even wrote up a blurb about being on Etcetera. He described us as their “tamer alter ego.”

“Who the fuck you calling tamer?” That’s the first thing that came to mind and I was eager to get a laugh from my new online friend Steve. So I, being the honesty addicted, approval craving, glutton for punishment that I am, commented on their blog. And I quote…

“Who the fuck you calling tamer? Had a great time today guys. Thanks for taking the time. Looking forward to more stupidetceterachurchpeople.”

This is where jeff and beneathrover come in. First jeff…

“Those etcetera folks are so 'edgy'...”

What!!???

Then beneathrover…

“wow, cussing is cool. and beer is too. if the twelve disciples only knew what they were missing. drinking micro-brew and swearing would have surely beat being executed. and all for that "church", quote/unquote, that we take for granite so much.”

Now I’m panicking. “They don’t understand. I’m not trying to be edgy…I’m just me. O crap…they think I cussed to try to be cool. They’re probably right. Not that I don’t cuss all the time, but I put it there in the context of ‘tamer.’ Shit. And what’s that about beer? Did I talk about beer? And what’s that about taking church for granted? Is that a commentary on the stuff I said on the show? O God…they think I’m stupid. I’m gonna die. But Steve and Josh pride themselves on cussing. They made a highlight real and everything. Wouldn’t their listeners get my tongue-in-cheek comment? Maybe they’re blinded by their love for Steve and Josh. Why, why, why did I post that? I’m so stupid. I wish I could take it back...

I JUST WANT JEFF AND BENEATHROVER TO LIKE ME!”

If you think I’m joking here, you have underestimated my capacity for narcissism. This will hurt all day long. Can you believe that I'm a 33 year old father of 3? I've probably made things worse by posting this.

God I'm sick. Maybe one day I'll believe that You love and accept me and this crap won't matter.

I gotta go get the kids ready for school and listen to reports from the Gulf Coast to get some perspective.

[ping]

My Ugly Heart - [Chad]

I was walking through the dim yellow of the morning, thinking about an assignment I had. I am supposed to talk to a homeless person—interview them. That’s all I knew. They gave several suggestions where such a person might be found. Even on your street corner, they helped. But, I’m kind of unenthusiastic about that whole thing. I’m not hesitant because I have to talk to a homeless person, I’ve done that before. That’s actually part of the reason that I’m hesitant.

I’ve seen the sheer shame in the eyes of those who find themselves without when they have to ask for a few bucks for the bus or try offering to let you go through a plastic bag of second hand clothes to see if there’s anything you might want to buy. It just seems a little cold to walk up to someone and say, “Excuse me, but I’d like to talk to you about your crappy life.” So, yeah, I’m kind of reluctant to do the whole assignment.

But, thinking about that got me thinking about spending time with people who need someone to care. In a matter of moments, an entire scenario played out in my mind where I would befriend a poor, homeless wretch and slip him ten dollar bills, parade him into restaurants and say proudly, he’s with me, if they disapproved his presence. Then, I imagined myself telling my new friend about Jesus, and that’s where I found myself shocked and sickened at my ugly heart. Because, in my imaginary world, that’s where I left him.

I’d loved him without any catches. I’d been his friend with no expectations or predications. But, when I was honored with the right to be heard by my friend and he readily accepted the Good News of Jesus in my imaginary world, the reel of compassion in my mind ran out of tape.

Sadly, I think that’s how we’ve been conditioned as Christians. We’ve been taught to seal the deal and move on. But, this guy, who represents thousands upon thousands of real people, needed hope, but he also needed to see that hope in action. And I, having sated my guilt, was on my imaginary way.

We’re all screaming out to matter, mostly unheard in the chaos of this self-centered world. Many of us are lucky to get the scrapings of this world’s acceptance—a friend or two, a lover perhaps—to hear our heart’s call. So, how do we imagine the, ahem, unimportant people fare? Yes, God is ultimate acceptance, but, you know, we get hungry too. And not just for food.

[ping]

Read Me Please - [Sharon]

I just got back from Publix. I went there to get one thing only - soy butter. Yes, I know, many of you would find that repugnant, but I don't actually care, so I'll get on with my thoughts.

As I pulled up in the parking lot, I looked up to see a car parked in front of mine with the words "I SMELL A HATER" emblazoned across the windshield. It got me wondering: what exactly is the obsession we humans have with announcing to the world some propaganda that is near and dear to our hearts?

I mean, I'm just as guilty as the next obnoxious American. I, of course, feel some internal desire to force people driving near me to know the bands I am currently enamored with. I have also been known to tout record labels, and in my younger, YOUNGER years, I actually announced that trite refuse, "If You Love Something, Set It Free..." You know the rest, I won't be so cruel as to make you read it again.

Anyway, I've actually wondered about myself for some time. (About a lot of things, yes, but right now I'm talking specifically about this thing.) Is it just "supporting the bands?" I don't think it is. Is it that I want other fans of said bands to give the knowing nod as they drive by? The little thumbs up? Nope. Not it. So what is it? What is the compulsion?

I guess I've pared it down to this: I think we live in a society where we drive past each other so much more often than we are ever able to know each other, that we are trying, in that brief second of the drive-by, to let other people know who we are. It's sortof a last ditch attempt to introduce ourselves, even as we are just as quickly excusing ourselves by going our separate ways. So we try to choose something brief and to the point, that we feel tells other people something REALLY important about what makes us who we are. We are trying to let others know we are there. That we have something different about us. Or the same about us...depending upon who happens to be in the next car.

So I guess if there is any truth to the hypothesis, then let the worrying begin about the person who seems to have the olfactory ability to locate people who suck. Also about the person sporting the announcement pictured above. One that I actually really liked said, "I'm out of bed and dressed - What more do you want?" And I thought about leaving my phone number on the car of one which said "I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick." Sounds like a first rate date, right?

Unfortunately, I also saw one that I feel tempted to put on my own car. It simply said, "God save us - from your followers." Huh.

If the girl in the car hadn't just been driving by, I would have loved to talk to her for a bit. But at least I know something REALLY important about what makes her who she is: That she intensely desires to know the real Jesus. And so far, we haven't introduced Him to her.

Gotta Have It - [Erik]

Next Blog >> - [Erik]

I haven’t been able to stay away from this blog…tweaking this and that, adding an easter egg, exploring features. Did you know that the spell checker for blogger.com posts doesn’t recognize the word “blog?” Funny. Or would it be ironic?

Over at the Steve Brown Etc. website, I passed along an email from an old friend of Steve’s. He stumbled across geoduck Joe’s site one day while hitting the “Next Blog>>” button up there in the right hand corner of his blogger page. This guy read something about the talk show, went to its page, and is now catching up with Steve after a considerable period of time.

First, what are the frickin’ odds? Second, this was the first time I heard of the ability to wander aimlessly through the bloggosphere…interesting feature…possibilities.

So, after helping to set up [ping] I found that “Next Blog>>” button and hit it. Instead of hooking up with a long lost friend, I got a picture of a chick’s ass in a thong. God bless the Internet. I instantly realized the beauty of a button that would take me to pictures of butts and stuff while leaving me with an absolutely clean conscience derived from the innocent desire to see what’s next.

I clicked the button, glanced at a couple more blogs (all assless), and then went home from work.

That night I hit the button again and again. I saw Spanish blogs, German blogs, blogs with kanji, and I think I saw Russian. My anecdotal evidence suggests that there are more women blogging than men. I still didn’t “stumble” across any more rears, but I didn’t care.

Between the foreign language blogs, Bush haters, band blogs, and the weird advertising blogs, there were people’s lives and thoughts…

…most with “0 Comments.”

There was a note from a guy to his two-year-old son…0 Comments.

One blog had a list of “things that suck”…0 Comments.

A number of posts were filled with teen angst…0 Comments.

“Trouble In Paradise”…0 Comments.

“Got A New Job”…0 Comments.

One blog replaced the “0 Comments” link with, “0 Found Me.”

As I clicked "Next Blog>>" over and over, the posts looked less like blog entries and more like prayers. It was like in Bruce Almighty, when Bruce (as God) was getting the stream of collective consciousness from what seemed like the population of the whole world (it turned out to be only a block or two from his neighborhood).

Maybe it’s just me. I have this fear that when I pour my heart out to God, His response is…0 Comments.

Whether it was genuine concern for these people or that nagging fear, instead of reading anonymously and hitting the button again, I started leaving comments.

In all my clicking, there are two blogs that stand out. Check them out. You might feel compelled to leave a comment too.

1. www.susanwyno.blogspot.com – They just took Susan’s son off of chemo because it was worse on him than the cancer. They’re putting him in a hospice to live his last days.

2. www.pantsintheocean.blogspot.com – This blog is filled with some of the most creative, entertaining, and funny stuff I’ve ever read. Here’s a blurb from the blog…

“There seem to be two camps on the issue of whether or not there are, indeed, pants in the ocean. I believe there are. I also believe I should have gotten points for it the night I was playing Scattergories and fate rolled the letter "P" for the category called "things found in the ocean." But destiny and my friend Steve wouldn't allow it, so now I'm left to muse about it and other similarly pointless issues in this here blog.”

Well, now I’m a man on a mission. I’m gonna keep hitting the “Next Blog>>” button. I’ll keep leaving comments just to let people know someone was either scared enough of being alone, or cared enough to respond. But that’s not my mission.

I’m gonna keep hitting that button until I end up back here on [ping]. I wonder how many comments this post will have by then?

[ping]

George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People...Or Does He? - [Tim]

Most of you have heard by now the remarks from Kanye West the other night on NBC. Allow me to interject some