I Think I'm In Love - [Sharon]

Well, the first of our resumes came in, and I do believe this guy's a keeper. So impressed was I, that I just knew I had to share his beautiful prose with you all:

Deir Shayrone,
I'se wood like ta applie 4 ta posision of spouse like. Me bud Kyel, he hered abut you'se a looken and he sade you sounds purtee. Ta timen, it kouldn't be better, cause ma ol' laidee, she a p.o.d an she sade she's a leafen so I should be single agin by Saterdae nite or Sundae morn d'penden on how drunk hers nu man gits. He's rich an gots a purty good Datsun pick em up truck ta git her stuff with but I'se not tryen ta sell ya on hims th0'. I'm agona miss him, tho, cause their was times he'd buy.

Kyel, he sade 2 good things of ya: #1 is that you'se a Creesen, likin' Jesus an all an I likes a gurl who nose her place, like and #2 that ya likes that grace stuff cause I'se needs a hole lode of that from my gurl, but no more than any of ny buds.

I am a good provider, 2, since I got my gun changed ta Ottomatic and since the county gaves me that permitta clean up them po' kridders that did not like make it on ta hiway. I'se hope ya kin cook good.

Has you seen that moovie abut the broken back mtn? Kyel, he sade that if we doesn't work out, he's agonna rent it 4 me ta look at with hims. I don't nose why he'd a wait like that since ta 3 of us kin see on a date like. But that Kyel, he's a shy of the gurls like. I don't nose why tho' since he like the gurly stuff. But this here mails is about us, I keep 4gitten.

As ya kin see from my good riten, I ams a edukated man. Don't be shy of that since if you ain't so smart I kin talk down 2 ya so's you kin nose what is sade. My place is small so ya don't have ta kleen much. An you'll like ma kid's when they comes 4 ta visitasen on the weekends. We'd still have 1 of them weekends 4 ourselfs each months since ta one gurl kin't prove I'se ta dad. Save a bit on ta support that way.

I'se hopes ya kin come up herean we kin check each other out. I had ta leaf ta USA since they hung my photo at the Post Offist, so I'se in Alaska now. I gotta go soon cause the libary gurl is given me ta look, so uppity. If ya's hitchen, email be when ya is close to ta AK/BC lin an I'll tell ya how ta git here.

Kleedis

"Sigh." I don't know about you's all's, but my heart is goin' a pitter-patter...