Unity (Part 1) - [Erik]

2/3/06

After an hour of driving around town listening to static, this is what the voice said today, “Unity is the key...oneness. Do you understand?”

I told him that I didn’t. Then I asked for an explanation. In reality, over the past three months I had come to understand quite a bit about unity (and many other things). But I knew that I ran the risk of more static if I said yes. I love the sound of his voice. It’s so soothing. So I lied.

“You know more than you allow yourself to admit. Think about what I’ve told you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” With that, the static returned and my heart sank.

If he knows that I get it, why does he ask questions like that? Maybe he wants me to know that I understand...or admit it to him or...I don’t know.

I thought about going in to work, but I just couldn’t. I called in sick again. I bet I’m going to get fired. I haven’t been able to concentrate since the voice started speaking to me.

Sara suspects something is up. She’s worried. We’re fighting a lot. And when we don’t fight there’s just silence interrupted by discussions about credit card debt and field trips with the kids.

Anyway, I can’t wait for tomorrow. I hope he talks longer this time. I long for the days when he would talk for hours as I drove around or parked at the bluff.

I’m going to have to make up some kind of excuse to get out of the house. It’d be a lot easier if he spoke through a clock radio or something. I’ve been putting some serious miles on the car.

If I don’t tell Sara what’s going on, she’s bound to think I’m cheating on her or something. Even if I did tell her, she wouldn’t believe me. If she did she’d think I’m crazy.


2/4/06

What a day! This is what I’ve been waiting for.

I told Sara I needed to go to the office to take care of some unfinished work. I left around 9 in the morning. As soon as I got in the car I turned on the radio. This time I only had to listen to a few minutes of static. Then he spoke.

“Where am I?” he questioned.

I told him that he is right here.

“When am I?”

I told him that he is right now.

Then, get this...

...he sang a song.

It was so beautiful. He sang the names of the stars. I wish I could write down what I heard. It was like the chanting of Tibetan monks mixed with melodic tones that I could feel, like the rumbling of bass from a stereo. But it wasn't bass, it was harmonious...harmony that I could feel in my chest and moving out to my fingers and toes. It was sound more than words. Maybe words drawn out and sung slowly. I'm really not describing it well. It must have gone on for hours, but I lost track of time. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.

Then...silence. No static, just silence.

I found myself watching the trees go by on the interstate through teary eyes. I took the next exit and then got back on the highway heading toward the house.

“Those are the names of the stars that you can see from your neighborhood right after the sun goes down.”

I thanked him.

“Unity is the key...oneness. Do you understand?”

This time I told him that I did.

“Stardust son. Stardust. Think about what I’ve told you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” With that, the static returned and I felt peace like never before.

I turned off the radio and drove home.

Where is this going? I can’t go on ducking out of work and lying to my wife. But I don’t want to do anything else besides drive around and talk to him. Maybe I’ll ask him what I should do. Maybe tomorrow.


2/5/06

Sara and I fought today. She didn’t want me to leave. She wasn’t buying the working on the weekend excuse. I told her that I had to go. The fight ended with me storming out.

Normal thing, radio on, static for an hour or so, etc. This time I couldn’t just sit there waiting. I kept asking over and over again what I should do. I’ve never done that before. I almost demanded.

Then the voice spoke, “Unity is the key...oneness. Do you understand?”

I told him that I did, but that I wanted an answer to my question.

“No you don’t” he said.

I told him that in fact I did want an answer.

He said, “No, you don’t understand. I’m telling you, unity is the key...oneness. That’s the answer to your question.”

Then it hit me. I knew what I had to do. I knew it like I know what it feels like to breath. I’m going to have to tell Sara. We are one, just like with the stars. Hiding this is going to tear us apart. But if I tell her that I’ve been talking to a voice in the radio, she’s going to...shit...I can’t tell her.

“Think about what I’ve told you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” With that, the static returned.

Hey, I know. Maybe Sara and I should go for a little drive. Let him tell her what’s going on.

It’s late. I’m going to sleep.


2/10/06

I put it off all week. The idea of telling Sara was just too much. But the voice has been repeating the same thing every day for the past 5 days. It’s starting to bug me.

Every day it’s,“Unity is the key...oneness. Do you understand?”

I tell him I do and then he says, “Think about what I’ve told you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I have a feeling that until I tell Sara what’s been going on, the voice is going to keep repeating that over and over and over. I just can’t deal with that. I need more.

My sister is going to watch the kids tomorrow and Sara and I are going to go for a ride. She has to hear it for herself. It’s the only way to tell her. It’s the only way she’ll believe me. It’s the only way she won’t think I’m nuts.

Tomorrow.