Scribbles from Solitude - [Erik]

Something snapped in me this year. I had hoped to do some healing during my vacation in Chicago.

I've had some time alone, and that's good, but most of it has been spent trying to solve the damn Rubik's Cube I got my daughters for Christmas. I screwed with the thing for two days before I finally looked at the directions. Even then, it took me an hour and a half before I got that strange joy that comes from lining up all the colors on that tactilely satisfying box.

Maybe there's a message from God in that, but I don't think so. He has been communicating in other ways though.

He spoke through Bob Marley. They have a great cable system up here with free on-demand concerts. Marley's ghost sent a message to me from the past...

"Every man thinketh his
Burden is the heaviest (heaviest).

Ya still mean it: who feels it knows it, lord.

Ya running and ya running
And ya running away.
Ya running and ya running
But ya cant run away from yourself."

The Lady in the Water said something about pool-nymphs and having a purpose and a place. Thich Nhat Hanh was on the Buddhist channel telling me to live in the now, embrace my pain, and to breath. Thomas Merton echoed and reinforced Thich Nhat Hanh with the following:

"Indeed the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most: and his suffering comes to him from things so little and so trivial that one can say that it is no longer objective at all. It is his own existence, his own being, that is at once the subject and the source of his pain, and his very existence and consciousness is his greatest torture."

And finally, God just spoke through my wife after I once again put my son in time out for yelling while I was trying to write this. She said, "Will you quit punishing him for being a two year old. He just wants to play. Why don't you get your head out of your ass and come play with your children?"

All good stuff. I've got to go.

Single Year - [Etcetera]

Another year of Etcetera is in the can. It's a wrap, click here to unwrap it.

This time of year always gets us looking back at the path we've traveled. We talk failure, connection with God in daily life/nature, men, women, music, a few of our favorite things, and hopes for the new year.

Thanks for sharing time with us. There won't be a program next week, but we'll be here on [ping] and then back with a new Etcetera on January 2, 2007 bisque! Get the podcast here and come along for the ride.

Fast-forwarding Through Life - [Erik]

Paisley and I were talking this weekend about how the daily stuff of life has become something to, “get over with as soon as possible.” We’ve become very task oriented. The dishes, the laundry, the clutter, preparation of meals, washing the car, getting the kids bathed and in bed…all these things are in the way. In the way of what, I’m not sure. But they must be done, and done efficiently so we can get on with it (whatever “it” is).

This mindset is like committing suicide little by little over the course of a lifetime. It’s a disdain for life. I’m afraid we’re on the way toward getting to the end of it all, looking back and asking, “What was that all about?” If we keep going the way we’re going, the answer will be, “I’m not sure, but we got it over with as soon as possible.”

It’s ironic that our family was asked to light the “Joy” candle in the Advent wreath at Church Sunday. All this efficiency doesn’t produce much joy. But we got through the service and out the door as soon as possible so we could get home and get the chores done as soon as possible. Paise had lots of stuff to do and a Christmas party to prepare for. I had yard work.

I was pulling weeds on the less-visible side of the house that I’ve neglected for months, when I sensed God whisper, “I’m here.” I told Him I was glad He reminded me. Then He said, “Look at the size of these weeds.” They had gotten so big, that they were easy to spot and remove. I could just grab them and yank them out of the ground…very efficient.

I saw this as a picture of how my inner life has been neglected. The results are obvious and the problem easy to identify. I’m not living, just killing time.

As I worked with Him in the yard, I got a taste of what all of life could be, communion with Him in the daily routine. Now if I could just get to consistently living that way as soon as possible.

All I Want For Christmas - [Matthew]

I’ve been asked by various family members to give them a list of things I want for Christmas. No problem, I said. So I sat down to brainstorm a whole list of things they could buy. But no brainstorm. Not even a brain raindrop. I sat there for an hour, trying to think of things I needed.

Finally, I expanded the focus. Go nuts, Matthew. Forget needs, what do you want? Think big. So I did. After some time, I looked at the meager list: CD versions of albums I grew up with in the 80s, old NES and Sega Genesis games... basically (and unconsciously) trying to reconstruct my childhood in some way or another.

I delivered that list and received the response: ‘Can you expand that list some?’

Okay, yeah. I can. Since you asked, here’s what I really want for Christmas:

1. I want to be able to step out of my house in the Central Florida suburbs and disappear into some mountainous Pacific-esque sylvan wonderland to reconnect with God, to defrag my heart, to sweat out the anxiety-stress-disappointment cocktail swimming in my system.

2. I want to find a healthy balance between work and life and stop taking refuge in busyness.

3. I want to be the husband my wife deserves.

4. I want my friends who are currently fighting God on various issues to stop needlessly hurting them themselves and just surrender.

5. (see #4, except applied to me)

6. I want to experience the satisfaction of beginning and completing a great task, instead of wasting my time worrying about wasting my time.

7. I want to audibly hear God say ‘hey, you’re doing all right, son. Hang in there.’


Can you wrap that up for me? Can you put in a bid on EBay for those things? Because that’s what I really, truly want for Christmas this year.



[end ping]

You Can't Destroy the Mental - [Etcetera]

"No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now." While the band who sang those lyrics is now, ironically, defunct, we like to think the phrase applies to us, the first and only show to combine the intellectual properties of talk radio with the visceral goodness of metal.

Forwarding Andrew delivered a blistering lead solo this week with his 'This Year In Viral Video' segment. Throw in a couple of our favorite callers, some witty repartee, and you got yourself at least twenty minutes of entertainment, all jammed into one hour.

Click here to enter the Etcetera mosh pit. If you're ready to get an Etcetera tattoo (okay, just a podcast subscription), click here.

Oh, and just so we're clear, we only play arenas.

What's the Deal Here? - [Etcetera]

Programming Note: This week only, Etcetera will stream live Wednesday night at 9 ET.

Etcetera returns to our normally scheduled time next week (12.19.06 @ 9 ET). We will of course podcast the hell out of all this noise.

Book Suggestions for the Xmas Break? - [Erik]

We’re once again heading up to Chicago for Christmas. This is good news for a number of reasons…

1) I love spending time with the family in the frozen fortress of solitude that is my Mother-in-law’s basement

2) Cold nights under the covers with Paisley (Who loves you babe?)

3) The last time I went to Chicago for Christmas, I came back with all kinds of great stuff for the show (including the “Goulet!” drop that we got so much mileage out of – not to mention the cow bell stuff)

4) Free scotch

5) Playing in the snow with the kids

And finally...

6) I’ll get a chance to read a book from cover-to-cover in one week

That brings me to a request. Any suggestions for a good read?

Last time, Matt hooked me up with Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk and I loooved it. I’m currently reading Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton, but I’m feeling I’d like to put that down for the holiday in favor of another good piece of fiction.

But I’m open. Let me know. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Trickling Stream of Consciousness - [Erik]

I took three bowls to God the other night. They were different sizes. There was an altar. The bowls were plain and empty. They were heavy and I didn’t want to carry them anymore, so I put them down in front of the table. I wanted Him to fill them with gold coins. I was worried that there wouldn’t be enough. I told him I didn’t want to think about the bowls anymore.

Some friends came to mind. So I went and got them and brought them to the altar too. I left them there with the bowls.

I woke up and the sun was shining through my window and onto the wall in my bedroom. The light made the shape of hands holding a bowl.

Today Is Pearl Harbor Day - [Matthew]

I saw him several times as I moved from aisle to aisle at the grocery store. I would steal a glance as I moved from ‘Cookies/Snacks/Chips’ to ‘Household Items/Stationery’, then back to ‘Bread/Rolls.’

An older, heavy-set man, fully occupying a Hoveround-style cart, wearing a blue cap with some kind of military insignia. He sat at an end cap, going nowhere. Waiting for someone, I guessed.

I bet he’s a veteran, I thought. I should tell him ‘thank you for serving’. I’ve done this before. Not as a habit, but here and there. For me, it’s not just some sweet little thing that makes me feel good. I mean, thanks to guys who served, I can do the stuff I do, pursue my dreams, live in a house in a safe neighborhood with my wife. The biggest injustice I have to suffer is when some jerk cuts in line at the Starbucks drive-thru. This is the gloriously free life we get to lead because these guys stood on the wall for us. So I figure, a little bit of awkwardness in saying ‘thanks’ is a small thing.

I made my final approach to the checkout, moving toward him. Then, at the last minute, I just went to the checkout. I don’t know why. I don’t think of myself as a shy person, but I have these fleeting moments.

While checking out, I saw some blurb on a magazine cover about Clint Eastwood’s ‘Flags of Our Fathers’ movie. I glanced to my left and the guy was still there.

My opening line was ‘Did you serve?’

“Why d’ya think I got this?”, he replied, motioning to his hat.

I don’t remember his name; I do remember when I shook his hand, his grip was strong and that he didn’t let go of my hand. I remember he looked me square in the eye. I remember he said he was there at D-Day. I remember noticing one of his legs wasn’t his own. I remember him lifting his hat, showing me his souvenir, a deep, ugly, scabby wound covering most of his head.

What can you say to a group of people who did so much for us? All I can think of is to say, I remember. We remember.

And thank you.


[end ping]

Etcetera @ The Movies: Apocalypto

Apocalypto tells the story of a Mayan warrior, Jaguar Paw. When his tribe is attacked by another tribe and subjugated into slavery, Jaguar is separated from his pregnant wife and young son.

The film tells the story of Jaguar Paw’s journey away from his family and what he does to get back to them.

That’s it. That’s the movie. It’s a simple storyline, but an engaging one. And in a sense, this idea could be played out in any number of settings, not just a pre-Columbian Mayan forest.

The cinematography is gorgeous and stunning, shot digitally on high-definition Genesis cameras. The actors, all non-professionals, do a fantastic job. Very understated and completely convincing. The communal nature of the tribe gives us some touching and hilarious moments… in the first thirty minutes.

Now, let’s talk about the remaining 107 minutes.

If you’re going to Apocalypto, you first need to know it’s brutal on a level I’ve never seen onscreen before. Not sure if it’s for you? Take this litmus test: There’s a scene where a Mayan warrior is unexpectedly impaled from the front on a series of sharp spikes. The shot from behind shows the spikes lined with blood and fatty tissue from his body. Can you handle that? It’s visceral to be sure, but actually doesn’t feel like it’s being done just for effect. Just know what you’re in for.


There are a few weak spots in the film, including a deus ex machina at the middle turning point that’s just a little too convenient for me.

Also, the extended ending action sequence is exciting, but strained, at times even bordering on silly. I don’t mind a long movie, but not if it would be better by being shorter.

One last note: the film is subtitled. There’s not much dialogue, but what’s there is strong. Even for the subtitled movie novice, it’s not going to distract and really does add an element of authenticity.

Overall, Apocalypto is a beautiful and brutal film, one that certainly wouldn’t be in theaters if Mel Gibson’s name weren’t above the title (read the posters, it’s billed as Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto). It’s the antithesis of a typical big-budget studio film-- obscure location and time period, no ‘name' actors, pervasive and extreme violence-- and yet, here and there, it relies on some standard Hollywood conventions. It’s not perfect, but is nonetheless original and daring, a bold piece of filmmaking that will leave you emotionally exhausted.

* * * * (out of 5)

Rated R for sequences of graphic violence and disturbing images
Running time: 137 minutes

OPENS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8th


[end ping]

Morning with Merton - [Erik]

"The devil is no fool. He can get people feeling about heaven the way they ought to feel about hell. He can make them fear the means of grace the way they do not fear sin. And he does so, not by light but by obscurity, not by realities but by shadows; not by clarity and substance, but by dreams and the creatures of psychosis. And men are so poor in intellect that a few cold chills down their spine will be enough to keep them from ever finding out the truth about anything."

-Thomas Merton-The Seven Storey Mountain

Etcetera's Back - [Etcetera]

It's good to be back. Good TO be back. Good to BE back. This show was a high colonic for the blocked up buffoonery.

Catch up with Erik, Matt, and Sharon along with guest host (and all around good guy) F'ing Andrew...get the skinny on why we left and how we ended up back...and be sure to stick around toward the end to get Matt's review of Apocalypto

Click here to listen to the return of Etcetera. Also, be sure to subscribe to the podcast to get future shows and updates on the new stevebrownetc.com site.