Muse You Can't Use - [Etcetera]

Join us for black holes and revelations on this week's Etcetera. That sounds a lot cooler than it actually is, but does describe the show. And that's all I have to say about that.

Click here to listen.

Subscribe to the podcast here.

Gotta Have More Ringtones - [Etcetera]

In an effort to propagate portable buffoonery, we submit the following ringtones for your approval.

Erik's psycho laugh
Matt is Shavalavadiggyboo
Affirmation, Spastic Mystic style

Don't forget the previously posted Goulet ringtones, here and here, and the wildly successful "Waaaaaa Perform Monkey! (clap, clap)" here.

If you act now, you'll receive this Vadertone as a bonus! That's right Sally.

DIY Artsy Book Titles (Part II) - [Matthew]

So, you're enjoying the runaway success of your bestseller 'The Potter's Widow.' Congratulations! Now it's time for the follow up. Don't have a title yet? Not to worry.

As before, simply pick one word from each column, and you got yourself a hauntingly poetic title for your tome. So, get to choosin'...

Whisper.........of......Lullabies
Shadows.......of.......Wind
Echoes..........of.......Autumn
Memories......of.......Water

I-- along with all the properly-posed authors on this page-- wish you the best of luck.



[end ping]

DIY Artsy Book Titles (Part I) - [Matthew]

Yes, you too can create an important-sounding (readers will say 'pretentious, but what do they know?) book title. It's easy. Simply choose one word from the first column and one from the second. Add to that 50,000 or so more words, and you're on your way.

PS: for the back of the dust jacket, don't forget: black and white photo of you with your head resting in your hand, looking thoughtfully at the camera. Can't overstate how important this is.

The:
Shepherd’s.....................Daughter

Sharecropper’s...............Bride
Potter’s..........................Son
Soldier’s.........................Widow

What was your title? Sounds pretty classy, huh? I think I smell a bestseller.

Part II coming soon!


[end ping]

Get the Leto Out - [Etcetera]

Matt, Sharon, and Erik (the triple-threat of podcasting) were joined by Rob from Organicchurch.com to bring you 30 Seconds to Mars and an hour of Etcetera. Click here to listen. The first one's free, but if you subscribe to the podcast now, we'll throw in all future programs at no extra cost.

Check out the "Merch" link at Organicchurch.com to see Rob's t-shirts. And as promised, here's your link to the myspace page where you can get your very own Sharon ring tone. Don't miss this opportunity to have The Spastic Mystic alert you to incoming calls.

Black + White + Wrong All Over - [Matthew]

If you saw any of yesterday’s AFC or NFC Championship playoff games-- or have heard any sports news in the last twenty-four hours-- you undoubtedly heard one story over and over. Colts’ Head Coach Tony Dungy and Bears’ Head Coach Lovie Smith, were they to win their playoff game (they both did), would be the first African-American coaches to lead a team to the Superbowl.

Is this interesting? Yes. Significant? No. Here’s why…

The breathless coverage yesterday over this story was unrelenting. From on-field reporters to former player sports anchors, the tone varied little, ranging from surprise to delight to amazement.

But you have to ask why? Why is it amazing? For these media folks, it’s amazing because Coach Dungy and Coach Smith are black. The implicit message is clear: being black was a handicap they had to overcome to achieve this feat. Can someone explain this to me?

The irony is that in their misguided attempts to show how far we’ve come, the sports pundits have instead illustrated how far we still have to go. These guys are black. So what? Why do the media continue to obsess over this issue? Even in super slo-mo replay, they still don’t see the truth of the matter. If we had really evolved as a society, this would have simply come up in the form of a trivia fact. ‘Hey Boomer, bet you didn’t know this. Dungy and Smith will be the first black coaches to lead their teams to the Superbowl. How about that. We’ll be right back.’

The beautiful thing is, sports is no respecter of race. It’s all about who is the fastest and strongest. The same goes for coaching. Heck, if you were a bi-sexual Hottentot, and if you got to be head coach of an NFL franchise, and if you led your team to the Superbowl and won, they’d be hoisting your little bi-sexual Hottentot self onto their shoulders and handing you the Vince Lombardi trophy. That’s how it works. That’s how America works. You win by taking what you’ve been given, working hard, and being better than the other guy.

Contrary to what these sports analysts say, the closest thing we have to a level playing field is the playing field.

How about that? We’ll be right back.


[end ping]

Bingo! - [Erik]

Forwarding Andrew has delivered. Steve Brown Bingo is ready for mass consumption.

Get your unique bingo card and play along while listening to Steve Brown Etc. Each card has two games on it, complete with common Steve-isms to mark as they flow from the Old White Guy's oral cavity. Don't forget to utilize the Steve head free space.

Email me at erik@stevebrownetc.com and...bingo! I'll get you set up.

Look Who's 76 - [Erik]

James Earl Jones was born on this day in 1931. Happy birthday to the voice of Darth Vader!

In celebration of his work and life, let's gather around the Internet and watch the Vader Sessions again. It works every time. Check it out here.

If you missed our interview with the creators of the Vader Sessions, click here to listen. (How's that for an excuse to post old stuff?)

Criticize by Creating - [Etcetera]

We have created a podcast and behold, it is good.

Chad Gibbs from the Burnside Writers Collective joined us. It was a great time. We talked about criticizing by creating (thank you Michelangelo). And it was most excellent to hear from so many of you guys. Thanks for dropping by.

Click here to listen to this week's Etcetera. Taste and see that it is indeed good, then subscribe here for more.

The Merry Monk of Monkey Love - [Erik]

It seems that my confession on last week's Etcetera has given many of you the courage to admit that you too have a problem. I know now that I'm not alone in my affinity for robot monkey heads. Thank you to those of you who have contacted me and shared in our common struggle.

As a result of the overwhelming response and obvious need, The Quartermexican and I have started an online support group in the comments for this post to help you overcome your robot monkey head addiction. I pray it will become a place of healing.

What's more, we're proud to announce that world-renowned former monkey lover Charlton Heston will be our spokesman and leader as we seek to put our past behind us and get on with a healthy, well-balanced life free of damn, dirty apes.

Programming Note - [Etcetera]

I first heard about Burnside Writers Collective when we talked with Donald Miller on Steve Brown Etc. I figured I'd check it out sometime, but never did.

Then a friend emailed me a link to one of their articles called On Swearing. I loved it, so I kept hanging around there. Now I'm hooked. It's a great site.

One thing led to another and we ended up having Jordan Green (the editor of BWC) on the big show. Through that interview I ended up connecting with Chad Gibbs. Chad contributes to BWC and you should check out his writing here and here and here. I actually laugh out loud when reading his pieces.

Anyway, here's the programing note...Chad is going to hang out with us on Etcetera this Tuesday.

Pwned! - [Etcetera]

Living in Limbo, News You Can't Use, When Cartoons Attack, News From the Nerdiverse, and a dirty little secret...all that and more is just a click away.

Here's this week's Etcetera.

Subscribe to the podcast and hang out with us regular like. The Internet Stream of Collective Consciousness just won't be the same without you.

See What U2 Has Done - [Erik]

Many thanks and much love to Matt from Canada for passing along the following staggering work of art. It's the video for Window in the Skies, the new single from U2 (released on January 1st). The song is amazing and the video is even amazinger.

Hinntacular - [Erik]

Roger posted a link to this video in the comments on one of the posts. I'm afraid it may have been buried there, and you have got to see this.

I usually find Benny Hinn entertaining even when you don't edit his antics and set the clips to the music of Drowning Pool. So this just tickles me beyond words.

Monkey Biz-nass - [Etcetera]

Welcome to 2007! A new year is dawning. What better way to start it off than by cracking open the internet and taking a big whiff of fresh Etcetera.

In addition to getting a look at Matt's monkey, we talked Dick Clark, embracing pain, the Ford/Brown/Hussein triad of death, the sneaky Wii, and new words added to the new Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Click here to get your monkey on.

By the way, also rans for the name of this show were: Show Me the Monkey, Year of the Monkey, Baboonery, Monkeymother, and a few others that just got a bit dirty. I thought I'd share.

Subscribe monkey! [clap clap]